Last night I went for a walk down past the house and along the edge of our pound. As my feet carried me along the edge the water I found my self drifting from thought to thought. My eyes followed the edge of the water and then out into the deep black of its depths. And their in the darkest of the water I could see small twinkling reflections. I looked up to be completely engulfed in brilliant lights. With no moon in the sky I found it to be absolutely exploding with stars. Stars I felt as If I had never seen before and never would again. It was as if, as I stirred into the night sky I could see out past the furthest reaches of the universe. Out beyond mans imagination. Past all limits of human reason. In that moment it seemed as if something was stirring back.
I’m not sure I knew what it was. Or, if it was a kind of thing one can even know. I was, although, very certain it was something I’d like to know. There is I know something which keep all those stars up there, and keep me down here stirring into the water and out into the universe; Something akin to the laws of physics or nature. But this was nothing like that; this was something more, something behind all of that. I felt that it must have been something like what Einstein or Kepler felt when they stirred into the heavens for the first time. It was not, on the other hand limited to them, as I pointed out before it was beyond the simple laws of nature. It was much more then the simple how of some indefinitely complex machine.
I would at first have ventured to suppose it was some great moral force, something which was akin to the presents of God. I’m just sure that it was. To do so I suppose is a lapse of faith on my part, but this felt different. It was most certainly not the God of the Old Testament. It did not come down in fire and lighting. And for the God of the new covenant, it still seemed to be almost to sublime.
I would hope that it’s the sort of thing all humans experience, Perhaps one reason to still hold on to the broken fragments of the human condition. The very presents of it may be all that is needed to hold against the maddening fear brought on by the Dawkins syndrome. The ever steady creep of progress which in the darkness consumes all… a light shineth in darkness, and the darkness comprehended it not… I wonder if I can, I wonder if even Euclid could. But did he even need to…